I have some friends who seem like they can do it all. We joked that one of my friends just doesn't have her plate full, she had a platter. I love trying to figure out how they can have time or energy to do all of the things I wish I had time or energy to do but then I have to slap myself in the face and remember that each person is different. I don't have the resources or skills to sew all my own clothes and home decor. I don't have the patience or full control to homeschool my children. I don't have the knowledge to start a step-parent support group. I don't have the budget to entertain regularly or have a name brand wardrobe. But I do what I can. Here are some of the amazing ideas that I've seen online lately that I really wanted to try but I've given myself grace and decided that it is just not going to happen for me right in this current season of my life. Quite a few things have changed for us from what I expected for the year so far and that is just how it is going to be.
Gardening - I wanted to start my own seedlings. I even bought some seeds a few weeks ago but never got around to getting soil and then taking the time to get the ground ready and weed and take care of one more thing on my agenda... just not going to happen. In the ideal world I would have grown sugar peas, rainbow chard, mixed lettuce, basil, lavender and zucchini all from seeds. Some of them still say I can plant directly into the ground after the last frost but who knows if that will happen and that's ok.
Preschool - I totally dropped the ball on my grand scheme of pre-preschooling. I checked out awesome resources online, drew up a schedule, gathered supplies from around the house, blogged about it and then it never happened. Lincoln is still growing smarter by the day and is getting more well adjusted around other kids. He can stay in the nursery at church much better, not push kids anymore at playdates and always talks about his buddies. He is an outdoorsy boy already and I just have to remember to try to give him the opportunity to stretch his legs in the fresh air a little more and he will be happy. I'm not going to be making a cardboard village anytime soon but I did buy some activity books to hopefully keep the boys slightly busier while I am trying to get back into the swing of nursing soon. My kids don't need that and that's ok.
Cooking - I spent a while the other day putting together a random type of beef stroganoff for dinner and I thought it came together really well in the slow cooker. When I told the kids what was for dinner all I kept hearing Dylan say was "So we're having hamburger helper?" and "This hamburger helper is really good." Shane didn't even finish his which is unusual. I got mad at both of them because I felt like I spent the time and creativity to come up with this great, healthful meal and it wasn't appreciated. Then I realized that it doesn't matter what we eat. It's just food. Even if it were hamburger helper at least we are eating and we can just enjoy each other's company. I made all of those freezer meals for after the baby comes but I decided that since we are getting so close and I'm getting warn out we are going to crack into them early and just enjoy the fruits of my labor and that's ok.
Getting Help- I have amazing family and friend who have been there for us when things have gotten a little crazy around here. I have one friend who has been bringing us meals once a week so far for 3 weeks and says she will keep doing it until a while after the baby is born as her gift to us. Do you know how amazing that is? I have friend at MOPS who didn't hesitate to plan an event for me when I was overwhelmed when Shane lost his job. I have parents and in-laws and siblings who help keep the boys occupied when they are here so I can put my feet up for a few minutes. I have older kids who can pick a chore off this Saturday to do list and we can whip the house into shape in an hour. I have a husband who will take my son in for a hair cut after I sort of butchered it. I have a couple who will come anytime day or night to watch the boys if I go into labor while my in-laws are out of town. I have a mom on the Senior parent group board who is filling me in on things I've missed and will probably miss in the next week or two coming up. It takes a village to raise a healthy family and that's ok.
No I don't have to do it all or do it all myself to be happy and that's ok!
Gardening - I wanted to start my own seedlings. I even bought some seeds a few weeks ago but never got around to getting soil and then taking the time to get the ground ready and weed and take care of one more thing on my agenda... just not going to happen. In the ideal world I would have grown sugar peas, rainbow chard, mixed lettuce, basil, lavender and zucchini all from seeds. Some of them still say I can plant directly into the ground after the last frost but who knows if that will happen and that's ok.
Preschool - I totally dropped the ball on my grand scheme of pre-preschooling. I checked out awesome resources online, drew up a schedule, gathered supplies from around the house, blogged about it and then it never happened. Lincoln is still growing smarter by the day and is getting more well adjusted around other kids. He can stay in the nursery at church much better, not push kids anymore at playdates and always talks about his buddies. He is an outdoorsy boy already and I just have to remember to try to give him the opportunity to stretch his legs in the fresh air a little more and he will be happy. I'm not going to be making a cardboard village anytime soon but I did buy some activity books to hopefully keep the boys slightly busier while I am trying to get back into the swing of nursing soon. My kids don't need that and that's ok.
Cooking - I spent a while the other day putting together a random type of beef stroganoff for dinner and I thought it came together really well in the slow cooker. When I told the kids what was for dinner all I kept hearing Dylan say was "So we're having hamburger helper?" and "This hamburger helper is really good." Shane didn't even finish his which is unusual. I got mad at both of them because I felt like I spent the time and creativity to come up with this great, healthful meal and it wasn't appreciated. Then I realized that it doesn't matter what we eat. It's just food. Even if it were hamburger helper at least we are eating and we can just enjoy each other's company. I made all of those freezer meals for after the baby comes but I decided that since we are getting so close and I'm getting warn out we are going to crack into them early and just enjoy the fruits of my labor and that's ok.
Getting Help- I have amazing family and friend who have been there for us when things have gotten a little crazy around here. I have one friend who has been bringing us meals once a week so far for 3 weeks and says she will keep doing it until a while after the baby is born as her gift to us. Do you know how amazing that is? I have friend at MOPS who didn't hesitate to plan an event for me when I was overwhelmed when Shane lost his job. I have parents and in-laws and siblings who help keep the boys occupied when they are here so I can put my feet up for a few minutes. I have older kids who can pick a chore off this Saturday to do list and we can whip the house into shape in an hour. I have a husband who will take my son in for a hair cut after I sort of butchered it. I have a couple who will come anytime day or night to watch the boys if I go into labor while my in-laws are out of town. I have a mom on the Senior parent group board who is filling me in on things I've missed and will probably miss in the next week or two coming up. It takes a village to raise a healthy family and that's ok.
No I don't have to do it all or do it all myself to be happy and that's ok!
You absolutely DON'T have to do it all! There is a saying I love, "you can do anything, but you can't do everything"... you can do anything you want, but no one is supermom and can do EVERYTHING they want. I'm trying to do new things (sewing, etc.) but also trying to take it easy and focus on spending time with Luke before he grows up too fast. Sometimes its better to just spend time with your family, rather than doing a million things. You are a fantastic mom (I know I wish I was like you!) and your family loves you... that's all that matters! :) xoxo
ReplyDeleteJackie said it all.....I brag on you all the time Shani (you too Jax) and am always amazed at all you do for that household of yours.
ReplyDeleteI'm amazed at all the things you do Shani! You are hard working, creative, loving....in a nutshell--remarkable. I'm proud to call you daughter<3
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